Ammon Grant Baldwin

I can't believe it's been 10 years since our sweet little Ammon was born. Every year on his birthday (July 13th) we celebrate by letting balloons go, eating cake and peaches and decorating with white roses on the table. Peaches and white roses often remind us of Ammon because on the day that Ammon passed away some good friends brought us a huge bouquet of white roses and we also ate a ton of peaches right around the time that he was born. 

Scott wrote a poem after Ammon passed away and we often read it on his birthday.

Too pure, too lovely–

you, Ammon.

The world, in all its vainglory

could not hold you,

could not tempt you,

could not stain you,

my too-light son.

Through our arms you rise

higher, higher on Christ-wings,

washed white with his leavening blood.

You, Ammon,

granted to us for a mortal moment,

sealed to us for eternity

with immortal links cast in Gethsemane’s shadows,

forged in Golgotha’s furnace.

Too sweet, my son,

for any bitter tears;

we weep, but not without hope!

Hope! like nectar, heaven’s dews

distilling on our skyward eyes.

Years will first trickle, then rush.

We’ll celebrate you in summer trees,

fresh peaches, white roses until

Called from grave’s earthy embrace

into resurrection’s glory,

we hold you again, hear “mommy” “daddy.”

We will talk, laugh, sing in the light of the Son–

but for now you are

too pure, too lovely,

our Ammon.

I don't usually go back and read his birth/death story in my journal because it can be a little painful. Really, I just don't want to be sad and cry forever, but because 10 years seems like a pretty big deal and Scott was in China (so I could cry myself to sleep without disturbing him), I did it. Whoa it was tough but, I'm so glad I did and it made me so grateful that I wrote in detail about that time. It was such a special time in our lives and it is so good to go back and reconnect to all the tender feelings I had back then. I think of how young we were at 25 years and how devastating it was, but also how much hope we had. It gives me strength to remember the faith and hope we had for our son and that we knew we would be with him again. 

We talk about Ammon a lot in our family and our kids often tell their friends that they have another brother up in heaven. Our kids know that they will see him again and I am so grateful for the blessing he has been and will continue to be in our family.

Since Scott was out of town on the 13th, we celebrated today. We were lucky to have my nieces, Savannah and Brooklyn, celebrate with us.

the girls made the cake

if you look closely, you can see the tiny specs of balloons in the sky

Happy Birthday Ammon!